F!'s Free Gazette

Yes, once again, it's hot dog time (3 days ago). And yet again, Joey Chestnut is triumphant.
And engaged.

I know you were all a-tingle with suspense.

I can't believe I missed last year's hot dog results. Saw the news story on TV today and remembered good ole Joey Chestnut. This year is the sixth in a row for which he has won the Nathan's hot dog contest. This ties Kobayashi's immediately prior achievement.

A win next year will of course invite endless Star Trek jokes.

Joey Chestnut has won his third Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Campionship. He's now half way to matching runner up Takeru Kobayashi's record of six consecutive victories -- the streak ended by Chestnut's first win. I'll be here to continue these annual updates just as long as this nonsense continues.

All hail local (San Jose State) grad turkey Joey Chestnut, who today won the Nathan's hot dog contest, established a new personal and world's record, and finally defeated six-time champion and arch-rival Takeru Kobayashi. Our long national nightmare of not having an American hold the Nathan's championship is over.

(It's the 4th of July. I can indulge in a bit of pointlessly jingoistic nationalism for a minute.)

If Joey Chestnut is not invited to The Simpsons Movie premier, a great injustice will have been perpetrated.

[Jen and I watched the last 8.5 minutes of the 12-minute contest on ESPN. We were expecting John Cleese to show up at the end with a mint.]